The Why
Hmmmm… The Why. As in why I liked running 100 miles so much.
I watched a few times Billy Yang’s The Why film on Youtube. Actually more than a few times. I like his work as well as seeing Billy’s growth as a filmmaker over the years. So I decided that after I finish my first 100 miler, I will spend time reflacting on my version of “The Why”.
This is my version. List of whys in no particular order.
The Process:
I love trail running. Or hiking. Or just being outside. But I also have a tendency of skipping workout or spending time outside if there is no particular goal in sight. Similar to other distances, with my first 100 miler, I set up a plan. Training plan, schedule, however you want to call it. Simply put: daily activities for the next 6 months, which would allow me to toe the start line with full confidence that I have what it takes to cover 100 miles under the cutoff.
I like seeing the improvement that comes from consistent effort. When I start a training block, initial workouts feel hard. Very hard. Looking back a month later, the same workout feels good. Another few months later those few repeats turn into low effort kind of warm up, cool down.
The other part of the process is getting into the routine. First few weeks my mind is always ready to skip one for whatever reason I can come up with. I can always find a reason why to skip a workout. But months later I can’t wait until the next session starts. I love how it becomes part of the everyday life.
This brings so much satisfaction.
The Journey:
I am sure you’ve heard this mentioned by others, but it is so true. Running 100 miles is a journey. And it is not really running those 100 miles I was targeting. That is only the final chapter of the journey. It is transforming my daily routine, my mindset, finding joy in the little things, learning from mistakes, making adjustments.
Through these workouts I end up spending more and more time outside. Spending more time in Nature is great. It brings a sense of calm. It offers a connection to my surroundings that city life just cannot really make up for.
Swapping hearing the neighbors screaming, sirens in the distance or simply not seeing the stars at night from all the light pollution from city lights to actual real silence and a night sky that that is “littered” with countless shining dots.
There is no single button to push, no magic pill to take to make these adjustments happen overnight. These happen over time. Through concious, consistent effort over time. “The Journey”.
North Star:
A 100 miler also served for me as my “North Star” through the year. It provided much needed boundaries and focus. The best example was when somebody who I care a lot about went through a rough period. Have you ever had that moment in life, when you feel like someone just pulled the rug from under your feet and there wasn’t really nothing underneath to now catch you? I had that moment. And the aftermath of such a moment proved to be just as challenging.
It is easy to lose motivation in these tough times and justify dropping out, not following through with the training plan.
In my case, this is when sticking to it makes the most sense. Not only it provides a stable framework I can always rely on, I have an outlet to burn off the crazy, think things through or simply just forget about everything else and focus on the simple cycle of breathing in, breathing out while putting one foot in front of the other.
It allows me to know that whatever crazy sh*t life will throw at me today, I’ll have this activity that will help me see something positive today. I don’t have a scientific way to quantify how it really helped other than leaving you with the subjective opinion of “it was a lifesaver”.
Feeling fit:
One “side effect” of going through the massive training plan of a 100 miler is becoming fit. Shorter runs, cross-training, high intensity workouts, long runs. Eventually my fitness improved significantly compared to where I was when I started.
That also opens up other opportunities. When joining local group runs, I can keep up with most of the group members. I can decide on spontanous adventures, switching from one activity to another, without really worrying about whether I can keep up, handle it physically or whether I need to take off a few days afterwards to recover. Recovery is becoming faster, for anything in the 20-30 miles range through mountainous terrain I don’t require special preparation or taper. And finally when I am out on those adventure runs, instead of surviving the run, I can actually focus on exploring, enjoying my surroundings.
Again: it takes an effort for me to build up to this level, but once I am there, having this fitness gives me so much confidence. It even translates to every day things. I can better focus at work as I am not getting tired that easily. I can have a workout, put in a full day of work, then attends school events or other activities in the evening. And still wake up fresh, ready to do it all over again in the morning.
Or back to the trails: I can drive hours to trailhead. Have a great sleep in the back of the car. Start early. Being out in the mountains all day. Back to the car, drive to another trailhead, have a longer and tougher adventure run the next day, then drive for hours to get home, then ready to start work without feeling exhausted the next morning.
Whenever I feel this fit, it is so much fun to look up routes, plan out adventure runs. That is a great feeling!
Back to the basics:
Through the longs runs and especially while running the 100 miler itself, life becomes much simpler. All of a sudden all of the problems in my real life disappear. The only problem I have to solve is how to get safely and as quickly as possible from here to there. Focusing on the trail in front of me, nutrition, foot placement, breathing, tuning in with my surrounding, enjoying little details and grand views of the scenery. And in addition, as selfish as it sounds: focusing 100% on myself. I feel most of us skip this important step in our daily lives. Maybe because most of us think this is selfish. But I strongly believe if we are not taking care of ourselves, it is much harder to help others or just be there for others we actually want to help.
Then comes the sense of accomplishment. Another basic feeling that I think can only come from physical activity. I am not talking about solving problems on a computer, writing a letter or calling someone sorting things out. Or purchasing something for the immediate and very temporary sense of satisfaction.
I mean that sense of accomplishment that comes from pushing my limits through the simple act of controlling how far my body can carry me. For some, unfortunately this might be taking a few steps without help. For others it might be walking around the block. I feel fortunate that in my case, it is reaching destinations farther and farther away and accessible only through more and more difficult terrain. Pushing harder at higher elevation, when my body screams for more air, legs are burning and I have to decide whether I turn back or stay committed seeing it through. Not because I report to anyone. On these remote trails, usually there is nobody around most of the time. So it is all a conversation between me and myself. There is nothing to fake here. Either I can or cannot.
Another one of the basics I keep seeking: honesty. There is so much faking, showing off, dishonesty around us every day. Trails make us honest. I can claim that I can go this far or that high or however fast. Doesn’t matter. What matters is whether I can actually do it when I am out there. Especially alone. Am I strong, fit, skilled enough to have the confidence to go out there and attempt reaching my objective for the day and get back safe. I like a good, honest effort. I like honesty.
Now I am curious if and how this list will change after multiple 100 milers. There is only one way to find it out…